Thanks for sharing all this, Torn. I have to run in a few minutes so I can't really do this thread justice right now but maybe this'll be a start:
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Originally Posted by Torn Mind
It’s also something that seems to affect, well me at any rate, in a negative kind of way, I mean that when I think about the negation and invalidation (neglect I suppose, but it’s really hard to apply that word because it’s so easy to see that people didn’t mean it, and there’s no kind of objective standard...
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You're doing well focusing on the subjective end of it. I was thinking the "invalidation" might have taken the form of
not giving you the validation you were looking for. It's harder to point to something that isn't there than to something that is, but I have a feeling that as you keep looking you'll come up with an even better idea of what's "missing" and, more important, what you might be doing to keep from missing it too much.
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Ugh just reread what I’ve written and it sounds so pathetic when I think about its being posted in a proper abuse forum.
Hmm and for that reason I’m going to go ahead and post it, because I reckon I’m just buying into the message that says it’s not serious enough, not bad enough, just me being pathetic and attention seeking and sod that it’s time to stand up against those messages.
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Way to go! Calling it "pathetic" is part of what I called "what you might be doing to keep from missing it too much." Abusing yourself, as it were.