Thanks girls xx

My T appointment went well. Suprisingly unemotional really.
I am (and he agrees) handling it all very well. We are getting to the end of the help that he can give me I'm almost ready to face the world on my own again!!!
It has gotten to a stage where all my 'problems' such as being controlling and self sacrificing (spelling??) are at the fore front of my mind - therefore I know what to do and what not to do now.
I will be sad when the sessions come to an end but I DO feel like a totally different person, I'm stronger and know how I want my life to play out now.
I am the only person that can make me happy and I deserve it so much that I WILL treat myself that way. No one else in this world deserves me to give the 'whole' of me away for them (until I have kids - that's a diffferent situation.)

We did talk about the Mark situation. My T has given me the strength over the past 6 months to deal with anything that happens to me in the future.
As I have given Mark until the end of May I do have one more appointment with my T just as a follow up to what ever happens.
The one thing that he was adamant about (and I had this in my head) is that if Mark and I decided to try a relationship again, then he will need to attend therapy, firstly to help him with the issues in his head, secondly to ensure that if we were to make a go of getting back together that it is REALLY what he wants, that he does love me etc. Thirdly, we would need to find the reasons behind him leaving me and hooking up with Lisa in the first place.
I know that I was NOT at fault in any of it now - so the issues that could be ahead are soley his - I will help and attend counselling if need be.

I just want to be happy in the future. I am not 'in love' with Mark though I do 'love' him. I do not want to go back to what we had. I want a future when equality is the main point. I want a future with him if he makes that choice.

Long post SORRY!!