Thanks, everyone.

Butterflying, thanks for your encouragement. I am really trying to trust her at this point. I do trust her. But I do have to keep reminding myself of that.

Seventy-eight, you could be right. She and I have been talking about attachment issues, and I guess it's fairly clear I have those. I'll have to go back and read up on the object permanence thing. I'm not sure why I keep needing to check on her. It could be a lot of reasons. But what do you do about this stuff? You say you've gotten a little better. How???? I'm an adult. If you're damaged in this crucial way in babyhood, how do you relearn as an adult.

Perna, oddly, I do carry a phone. My cell phone, and in the place where there's no coverage, I get extremely anxious. But you're right, it's not light, and maybe that would help.

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The thing is, I know she's trying to help me, and I more or less trust her skills as a therapist. BUT it's making me feel so disoriented and unfocused. Like I'm not really here, like I don't know where I am.

But I have a question--

Does anyone else contact their T to check on appointments, or am I the only one? Last time, I emailed her, and then when she didn't answer by the next morning, I emailed again. And then I called. So that's 3 times, and that would be typical of me. I do that for every appointment. I just like to be sure that she will be there, etc. etc. She said most people don't do that. Is that true? It feels sort of reasonable to me. But she says not.

Do any of you folks need to confirm T appointments beforehand? Or does that seem over-the-top?

Thanks,
-Far