I worry that something will happen to make her cancel, but I almost never call to check on the appointment time. Once or twice in 7 years I called Bt but that's because she was out-of-town and I wanted to make sure she was back.

I do think calling to check before each appointment is unusual. Do you do this about appointments with others, or just with T? I asked this before, but you didn't answer. Do you have OCD tendencies?

Maybe the way you are feeling about her assignment is getting to some important issues for you that are difficult to deal with. You ask: if you are damaged in childhood, how do you relearn as an adult? I think that's what therapy is about, isn't it? Different Ts have different methods, but the goal is to make peace with whatever happened early in life and to gradually learn new skills. I relate to your question because I don't know how to stop wanting to latch onto Ts. I don't know how to relearn something that was/is necessary for me to survive. I think that would be a good question to ask your T.