Thank you everyone for the hugs and care. It does mean a lot to me to see everyone. Nothings changed, Just another day that's gone and another day that I've fallen deeper into this hole. Feel like curling up and just crying. Don't think it would make any bit of difference. I don't know why I get out of bed in the morning. Oh I know why I get out. All the nightmares. dummy me Which is the lesser evil??? Sleeping vs. Wake Think I'll do like Buddy does and climb up inside my couch. Think they will find me? I can't find me, so how the hell is anyone else suppose to find me.