I met this person on Facebook, but we've gotten to be really good friends--we talk on the phone weekly, chat on FB frequently, she even sent me a gift for my birthday.

I tried to warn her early on about my BPD and how I have a really hard time keeping friends. The first time she saw one of my "meltdowns", it really freaked her out , but I apologized and she was very understanding. Then a second (milder) meltdown, which again she was willing to overlook.

But I think this time I've really done it. I'm having lots of physical problems all of a sudden, plus some other stuff going on, and it's more than I can handle. I had been doing really really well, and now it seems I have a meltdown every other day at least. And I said some things when my friend messaged me on FB that I don't think she will forgive this time--I don't know exactly why she was so offended (then again I never do ), she herself said it seemed I wasn't in a mood to talk (which was so true), but anyhow I think I have managed to run her off for good this time. I even got into an argument with my cousin on FB today!

I hate myself. The world would be far better off without me.

Maybe people are right when they say borderlines are just evil.