Hi Blameme. I'm sorry you're having such a hard time. I know how scary and frustrating it can be when flashbacks and nightmares are yanking you right back into some of the most awful parts of your life. Sometimes it has helped me to think about the things that I'm having flashbacks about in a way that I control. For instance, write about it, or draw a picture about it, or talk about it. If you have someone you can share it with, that's wonderful, but if not, just talk about it to the empty room. (this may sound silly, but what the heck, it's an empty room, no one sees it!) I do this sometimes, and it seems to help my brain get the memory out in a more productive way.
Thank you very much for sharing your frustration with us!