Rainbow, my XH was much the same way, throughout our marriage, but more so as we got older and our marriage went on the skids. I did feel very lonely in the marriage many times, and my solution was to accept his lack of interest as just being part of who he was and to seek out what I needed in interaction and companionship from friends. I'm not saying this was a great solution, because it helped me stay satisfied enough to avoid deeper problems in the marriage. But I did find that having friendships was really helpful and giving up the idea that my H should be my friend, although kind of sad, freed me from frustration and pain. Again, I'm not saying this was a great solution, but at the time, it helped us stay married, and my life was enriched by the friendships I formed.