I've read each of your posts in response to Garden and the struggles with what I think is as DPS put it, manipulative behaviors defined by Garden as negative. I watch Nurse Jackie and have questioned myself about my working personality and character every episode including the one I watched last night.... maybe had I been more like her, talked more like her, pushed people around more like her... even took drugs like her to cope (injured backs happen in health care, period) instead I was more like Zoe, but my appearance (I've been told) was that of someone superior, so apparently I blindly give off mixed messages. Manipulators and preditors know exactly how to use others and can see a weakness or default in an new york milisecond. In the center of being "two faced" one the perfectionist pleaser do anything for anyone, the other apparently the educated seasoned responsible leader type there lies a very self destructive core value that resounds with your questions (Garden). In my case, when someone was being railroaded unfairly I found it impossible to stand by and watch it go down... I stood up, stood by the accused, too many situations and lost jobs as a consequence to count repeating the behavior to my own detriment, determined to the end that good would win over evil. It didn't, it doesn't and still to my disbelief at my own demise, I'm where I am, a shattered broken person, my own fault and still looking for how to change, trust, believe in and cope among the natives who seem well able to thrive, work and party with friends. I'm with Garden... so greatful for your posts and support, answers to focus on, yet confused with the decades of failures.... it's very hard not to give up on yourself.