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So actually, the first part of my dream was pretty tame, I was apparently still in high school and the next day was going to be my birthday. I remember going over to one of my friend's house because of her own birthday part (which is strange because this friend's birthday is in July, mine is in June)
Anyways, I ended up going over to the house where I used to live (we moved out of there when I was 13) anyways, we had to clean out the old stuff. I had to spend the night there by myself for some reason. Anyways I was playing with the light switches and mused to myself about how I wish instead of a party just me and my friends could just hang out here for the day by ourselves.
The next day I was cleaning out my room the next day and my parents were there to help. I don't even remember having any of these toys but... in my dream they were mine! So as I was going through my stuff my mom told me I had to throw some things out eventually. There were a bunch of those cheap-tye-dye balls in a lot of different sizes (you know, the kind you kind find everywhere, from grocery stores to walmart?) and I said we could throw those out except maybe the ones small enough for pumpkin to play with. Mom then told me not to waste my time so I told her to throw them all out then.
It was then after some stuff was moved around that I discovered a little green envelope. I looked inside and it was like a little report from a T I had in elementary school. It had her card too with her name and phone number but it was small print and I don't remember it (which is sad because in the dream I didn't want to forget it!) and with it came a letter that said she had "some very bad news" because that day in group therapy I had made a very graphic and violent collage about war, and that it was something they'd discuss later. in any case said collage was nowhere to be found. And I thought to myself well, war is graphic and violent so if I made the same thing now it's probably be even worse (and told my mom that). Then my mom told me we would figure these things out eventually which was a little disturbing to me as if she knew something that I didn't.
It was after this moment the dream got disturbing. I was reaching under my bed and pulling old stuffed animals out, feeling increasingly disturbed and on edge as I was pulling them out. Which, then came to a head when I accidentally pulled a little cookie monster stuffed animal by the crotch. I hard a baby-crying sound from under my bed (at this point I was looking under my bed so it was totally dark. A man voice yelled at the baby voice to shut up and there was a hitting sound and the baby voice started crying more.
Then comes the flashback part where I actually see and remember things. Anyways this guy aparently used to be a babysitter of mine (and my brother too) he'd come over to our house but I guess he would bring other kids with him since there were other kids there he was babysitting too (I'm assuming). On top of the yelling and hitting he would also put you in the freezer if you were bad 9and small enough to fit) he also liked to watch proffesional wresling and most of what he'd do to my brother is make him fight with the other kids. I guess it was a fetish of his or something. He also liked to rape me. (which is hard to type even though this is a dream that incorperated dream elements instead of being an actual flashback. But you know what? It does explain an actual flashback I had which makes it about 10 billion times more creepy) But... I don't recall him doing that to any of the other kids... so I guess I was just special. Eventually my parents kicked him out not because they found out through us or the kids in general or even walking in on anything because other parents were telling them to say away from this guy. Fair enough. (even though if I was a parent and saw this guy I wouldn't touch him with a 10-and-a-half-foot-pole, if only because he looked like a weasel-y eyed scumbag from the start) anyways I was 4 at the time and my brother was 5. And by I mean I was 4 I mean I wasn't even 1/2 way between 4 and 5 years old. I thought I'd mention that because I'm guessing at 4.5 onward we had a different babysitter.
It was all just strange. And disturbing. I mean, it was obviously just a dream and you could see that everywhere in retrospect (the setting was distorted, it was all in 3rd person, etc.) but the parts that bug me are parts like the fact I could see and remember what everyone's faces looked like- something I can't do in my waking life. And yes, it did explain previous flashbacks (...or hallucinations? Really it could go either way).
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