(((thunderbearbear))) Please know that I can understand this from your viewpoint. When I was a child, I overheard some grownups saying "the sky is on fire" and I looked out the window and yes the sky did look as though it was on fire. All orange and red and black. This terrified me for many years as I thought everytime I saw the sky like that, I was going to burn and die. When I was much older I was driving to school and a semi truck hit the back of my car, and for the next year I would get terrified everytime I saw a semi in the rearview merror, so afraid it was going to hit me, it would send me into a panick attack. In nursing school, I had every illness we studied. A headache was a definite brain tumor, stomach ache..cancer, eye pain..well I was sure I was going to go blind. For so many years I was consumed with these kinds of thoughts until a friend told me the following....Picture two dogs. One dog is very fat, well fed, strong and muscular because I was constantly feeding him with all kinds of crazy thoughts..His name is My mentally ill mind. The other dog was skinny, bony, mal nourished, starving and dying, I never fed him anything..His name is My healthy mind. My friend told me to start feeding the starving dog (healthy mind) and start starving the fat dog (mentally ill mind) and eventually that dog with the healthy mind will eat up the other dog. Dont know if you can figure out how to starve that naughty dog who keeps trying to make you believe things that are not true. I did it by capturing my thoughts and making them obey me. Now my healthy mind dog is on the skinny side from time to time but I try to make sure I feed him at regular intervals so that he is strong enough to keep the bad dog under control. I dont know if this will even make sense to you, but Im willing to sound like a crazy woman with two dogs in her head if it will help you even the slightest. Be gentle on yourself, youve been under alot of stress lately!!! Hugs