It's an interesting question. God knows, I've felt that way sometimes. I've been on track for over a year now. It feels like, you know, maybe I'm just wired this way. People are different, and maybe I have a gift (mania) that I just don't appreciate and the effect of not embracing that is depression. Maybe I'm close to the norm and I let it swing wide just because. But every now and then, something reminds of how low I've been in the past, and even though it seems crazy to the observer (including me), it was a very intense reality at the time. I'm fairly well-balanced now, and I think I have lamictal and self-awareness to thank for that. But I do feel sometimes that maybe, just maybe, I'm full of sh**, and it's all just a fraud. I hear you, I get it.