For the majority of my life I have not felt like being here. Even in happy times I don't feel connected to anyone in any significant way, and nothing on this earth is of much interest to me. I want to be interested, happy, feel a connection to someone but I haven't. People come and go, nothing lasts. I don't know where this feeling comes from. Depression is too simple of an explanation because like I said, even when I've been happy I still don't really feel much like being here. I don't understand this world, and so much feels foreign to me.
Just curious if others feel this way, (have longterm). I haven't had a good life, but it hasn't been horrible either. I think about death alot, wish I would die, but am not suicidal. I don't see that as an option ever. I don't get how I can manage to live any kind of decent life while feeling like I'd rather not be here. Is there any way to get beyond feeling this way when I have as far back as I can remember?