I have struggled for well over 40 years with people pleasing on a small scale. im married with three great kids and just started a new job and have not really got to know anyone yet. last night i had the chance to at a local bar so i went. as the evening went on i found myself wanting to go home and even said as much from time to time. but i did not because they wanted me to stay(people pleasing), as the night went on the beer and wine was replaced with coke cane. i got scared because i like it but dont need it and did not want it. but if i did not join them then i was convenced that i would be an outcast (excessive people pleasing). i pased the room over and over to the point of them makeing fun of my behavior i agreed with all their ideas and opinions and never once told them why i was paseing (to scared to tell them that i did not want this). And i am the biggest guy in the room??????? so when i told them i did not want to be involed; the jokes got louder and i was the punch line. i have got to learn how to estblish my boundarys with these new people and all others.i need help dealing with this excessive people pleasing problem. and i conformed to the group.im a body builder, but i am not strong at all.
its time to deal with my people pleasing, how can i practice saying no with out the guilt.