My daughter was diagnosed with ADHD and later ODD. I hate it but that's it and at least I know or continuously read how to deal with because she doesn't want to take medication (probably that's why she got that ODD as I didn't complain... being afraid of more labelled here)
See here http://www.richardzwolinski.com/zwolinskisite/

I am so sorry no one told me till I found that (only now!) on this very site.