hi, jenkins,

yes, i have experienced self-sabotage. i think part of it is panic. i get so panicky in some situations that i feel pressured to say something and blurt out the voices in the back of my mind that i've been trying to quiet. i think my mind falls back on what it knows rather than what it knows is the right thing to say or do. it is a quandry.

other times, i get so afraid of correcting my own mistakes that i let them lie around and they seem to just grow bigger and scarier. i get afraid to fix them because that's showing a mistake was made.

you're right that being aware of this destructive behavior is important. i have found that it's best (1) to not let yourself get into this problem in the first place by keeping up to date at work and (2) to intercept the feelings of guilt for being behind and replacing them with the realization that you are behind because the office is busy and you are being overworked. sometimes, i try to set aside my fears and other emotions and just try to focus on getting things done. it takes self discipline but it helps.