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Old Sep 28, 2005, 10:15 AM
Parker10 Parker10 is offline
Grand Member
 
Member Since: Apr 2005
Location: Virgnia
Posts: 587
I am sorry you are dealing with almost daily panic attacks. Not a fun thing to endure for sure. I truly understand the desire to not have people notice that you are having an attack, but actually seldom would they, as the physical symptoms we experience are internal and not visible to others. I remember feeling like I had a sign on my forehead blinking in red lights "PANIC ATTACK", but that really is not the case.

The attack while beading was handled exceptionally well ! You stayed focused on your beading, and used rational self statements "ride it out, it will be over soon". Those are the type of things that are taught to manage panic attacks - and you are already using them! Way to go !!!

The episode following your hospitalization for kidney stones is so typical - panic disorder many times manifests itself during or after a "life changing experience". While in the hopsital - you probably felt very safe -knowing IF you needed help during an attack, there were medical people right there, and when you left the hospital - they were no longer as available. (My attacks started after the birth of a child, so the event in your life can be a good one or bad one)

You state that you have to fight them off almost everyday. Actually, if your mind set is "fighting them off", being watchful for when one starts, wondering when it will happen, etc, you are setting yourself up to have an attack. There is a certain amount of fear each and every second that we are "waiting", "staying ready to fight one off" etc. The mind is vigilant, thus producing the same brain functions as if there were a bear in the next room and you are just waiting for it to come thru the door. The exact same things happen in our bodies to a REAL threat - the bear - as to the perceived threat - panic attack. ONCE we can learn not to fear another attack (and you are WAY ahead of most people because you KNOW that panic attacks do not kill you), to actually say "Come on attack, I am ready for you because you dont scare me" - they cannot happen. There has to be FEAR present before one can panic. You have so many tools that you already use, I think you will overcome the fear that breeds the panic easily with some guidance.

Feeling safer at the bowling alley is OK. Many of us have "safe areas". Keeping your beads handy all the time, and if you start feeling anxious - get your hands and mind occupied with the beads........GREAT distraction technique !!!!

It is not unusual to have no warning that you are about to have an attack - or at least a warning you recognize. For many people it is a simple "unusual feeling in their gut", or "feeling alittle dazed", or some TINY physical activity that somehow trips our trigger to think "Now that felt strange, what is.......... and BOOM the panic starts. Many people are not aware of what their triggers are for awhile, so the fact you don't know when or what sets yours off is not unusual. Whatever it is that causes your panic to start - is a thought. Once we learn what our triggering thoughts are - the easier it is to use more and more rational self talk, etc.

I am so glad you have arrangements to meet with a professional. With some more coping skills in place, learning diaphragmatic breathing, etc, I hope you soon feel much better !

There IS life after panic !