I draw a check for my mental illnesses. I've tried working and my anxiety is so bad I panic on the job and have even passed out on the job before because my anxiety was so bad. Working isn't cut out for me. I can't work under pressure and someone telling me what needs to be done, how it needs to be done, and when it needs to be done. It scares the hell out of me and I panic.

I am looking into housing around my area that is based on income, and I am looking for a roomate. No luck with that part yet. I do plan on taking college courses, but I plan on taking them at home. I can't be around a lot of people at one time and I probably would be if I went to a public college. I panic.

But until I can find a place of my own, I have to stay here and live with my sister. I cant change that right now... I have one friend in this area and her landlord won't let anyone stay more than 3 days with them. I'm really trying here... Haven't seen my sister much the past few days, today is day 3 of being clean again. I can't promise I'll be clean tomorrow because I don't know what tomorrow holds. But I can say I won't use today.