((((((belle))))))

it sounds like things are definitely rough for you these days and that is so understandable. i thought the deadline was really more for you than mark when you made it. to give yourself a time limit and then move on if his situation didn't change. i think it's good he knows because it gives things a real shot of happening, but of course that is rather excruciating for you to wait. belle, if he doesn't leave lisa then it's time to move on. your feelings won't change and you'll still love him, but that is when your sanity has to kick in and you do the healthy thing for yourself and detach from him. what you need to be really careful about is not to jump right into another relationship with someone else. that would just be avoiding the grieving and not be fair to the guy anyway. i've heard to really get over someone it takes roughly a month for every six months of the relationship. of course that is just a guideline but it might help you to see that this is going to take time. trying to manage your feelings with busyness or avoid them never works. they have to be felt at some point. i know this is all so hard but in the long run i think you'll be glad you gave mark another shot so you won't always wonder "what if". it's just going through it that is so terribly hard.