Hi Belle, hope you are having a good day over there. I just thought I would share a couple of observations for what they are worth.


Mark is not the only one who thought/thinks that. I thought that was your ultimate goal too.
I have to admit that it was something that I thought was possible. It was not my ultimate goal.
I wanted the 'bodies to float down the river' (as my T put's it...) nothing more and nothing less.


I think it is fair to say that we all want that for people we care about.... including ourselves. lol. But what is up with the timeline if that is really your only interest?
The time line was for my sanity and peace of mind... plus it gave me control over the situation (a necessary emotional barrier)

Why is you life on hold if your only interest in Mark is as a friend who cares about his happiness? My life isn't on hold.. I have not changed my dating habits, life style or the way I am day to day
I can't imagine anyone putting their life on hold or giving me a timeline to get me head on straight. That is hardly something I would expect any friend to ask of me or ever expect that I could deliver on. I do realise now that the deadline was harsh in that respect. My Mum actually pointed that out to me and it made me think more about it... you are right, there can be no deadline for someone sorting their emotions out.

Maybe I am misunderstanding you but what truth are you asking him to face? I thought it was all about getting him to admit that he doesn't really love Lisa? That he really still loves you? That he made a mistake breaking up with you? That he wants to get back together? The truth I want him to face is that by sending me that message and others as well that he was looking for something - I want an explaination as to why he has put me through all of this again. What other truth could you be looking for? Is it simply as a friend you want him to be honest with himself about how messed up he is? Did he ask you to be his friend and help him get his head on straight? He has relied on me once again to be 'nice' and 'good' and make him feel better...


Wow Belle. Would you impose that same criteria on any other friendship? Do you set bars for your other friends to meet to prove their friendship to you? Do you see what I am getting at? Is it really about friendship or is it not as Mark and I pressume from you actions that you want more than friendship in the end? Just asking.
I have to protect myself and that means that I can't be friends with him... what if he sends another message that says "I miis you, miss us" in two, three, ten months time.\
What does he expect from me.. compassion and caring ? I have given all that I can to him. Time and time again I just get slapped in the face.
I will hate him for putting me back in this dark hole that I am in now.

IF HE HADN'T SENT THAT MESSAGE THEN WE COULD HAVE CONTINUED AS FRIENDS.. MY HOPE WAS GONE.. MY LOVE FOR HIM WAS A DISTANT MEMORY. I WAS GETTING ON WITH MY LIFE.

This part I get but again only from the context of you feeling as though there was a chance of getting back together again; Not merely to evolve your relationship into some new friendship. Is that really all you want from Mark Belle?
I wanted to see if there was the posibility of a relationship in the future, that is all true but I never wanted him to leave her and fall into my arms. I wanted to get to know him again as I feel like I never really knew him in the first place. I even had the feelings that I wouldn't like what I eventually got to know.