I'm going to stop this drinking before it becomes a problem, like my smoking.

I go out to this bar for a lot of reasons, one of which being that I had to show my parents that the world doesn't end if you don't call the cops every time your twenty-five-year old leaves the house alone.

Another being that I like to pretend I have a life of my own sometimes, and yet another being that I feel the need to go out and talk to people sometimes and no one talks to anyone anywhere but in bars, really.

But it's stupid. It's a waste of my time off. The first time I was angry, and I got totally wasted and passed out, and woke up on this guy's couch with no idea where I was.

Well, I went back to see him and thank him the next week, and although he's married he decided I was probably grateful enough to sleep with him, which, no thank you.

The next time I went I met another guy who was all impressed that I paid for a cab for this woman when no one would give her a ride home, and he told me he believes in God and blah blah blah and then he asked if I wanted to go play pool, and I said sure, why not, and then it turns out he was married and he planned to tell everyone in the pool hall I was his niece so his wife wouldn't find out he was out with me.

This latest time was probably the most interesting. I had resigned myself to sitting alone because people just aren't worth the time I spend talking about nothing with them (I keep asking why, and it must be a stupid question because I keep getting stupid answers), and these two guys came over, introduced themselves as brothers (they were, actually) and asked if I wanted to come sit with them.

I did, and I ended up spending the rest of the night talking to the younger brother about his drug problems while trying to convince the older brother (who was forty-two) that it was a really stupid idea to walk into the worst neighborhood around at two in the morning in search of cocaine.

He did it anyway.

I called a cab and came home.

Yeah.

Pretty sure I'm done.