I am really lost and confused and scarred. I dont understand. I worked for over 30 years, paid my taxes, did things that I was suppose to do (so I thought) and then became ill physically, mentally and emotionally. So I hired an attorney in 2007 to help me apply for SSI/SSD. I have been seen by over 30 doctors (some specialists) and they made me leave my job (career) and I have been turned down 3 times by SSA, now on round 4 at Federal level as of July 2009. Last time I heard from my attorney he said I should hear something by January 2011 (that was per a conversation I had with him in March) now he wont take my calls or answer my letters. I m starting to thing the government got to him too. I moved from a cold state to a warm state as advised by my doctors, and now I can not get any help. Everywhere I turn to ask for help, I am told they can't help me. What did I do wrong? Why do they want me dead? I know they can see everything we do, and they will probable see this and I will eventually be a missing person or forgotten like I never existed. But before I disappear can someone tell me why?