This Sunday my grandmother will be celebrating her 94th birthday. She has Alzheimers and no longer know who her family is. She has to stay with her children for the past several years and Sunday they will be taking her to her home for the day and her kids and grandkids can come celebrate her birthday there.

I would like to go but a couple of problems. She lives "up a crick" literally. No way my Audi can drive through the rocks and water in the creek. One of my sisters and my mom want to go but my youngest sister does not want to go because she is a B---- and she hates everybody in the family and doesn't want to be around them. Just as well but she is refusing to even drive my mom and sister there and it is only a half mile. Neither mom nor other sis drive or have a car. I asked how they were going to get there and they said perhaps Aunt B might take them or perhaps Uncle E (my abuser).

I have an aunt and uncle that live a few hundred miles from here and my aunt's health is declining so there may not be many opportunities left to see her. I really don't care to see anyone else in the family except for two aunts that live locally that I can visit at a different time. I told my mom at Easter that I am done pretending that nothing ever happened and I don't want to be around my abuser again. She said, oh, were you serious when you said that, I thought you were making a joke. Plus she doesn't recall the conversation we had in 2000 when she found out and she then accused my dad of being the abuser and said I was confused so really I don't know what she thinks happened but I am sick of the sh$t and if she really wants to know what happened she can ask him.

So this is the dilemma. Should I contact my Aunt and Uncle while they are in and ask to meet them for breakfast or something when my abuser won't be around? I feel that I should explain why I don't want to be around him and I think perhaps it is for the best if more people know the truth but I am not sure. I am angry at my abuser and at my mom for not believing me so perhaps a decision made in anger is not best. That is why I am posting here to get feedback before I decide what to do.