valor: Yeah I think I'm gonna try to do an intervention first. If he's not willing to try to change, work on it, or however you put it then I'm going to have to reassess and leave him. I hate to say that.... I love him but I love me more. I agree that alcoholism is heredity. There's too much evidence that supports that fact. Thanks

Julial: Thanks for the incite.

Yoda: Thanks for the book recommendation.

TheByzantine: I don't think it's so much that he chooses to make alcohol his number one priority, I think it's more like what Julial said From what he has told me and from what I have seen just about everyone in his family is dealing with or has dealt with an addiction. His sister, brothers, father... But since he can get up for work, do his job and pay the bills I think he thinks he's fine. He's what, in my opinion, one would call a functioning alcoholic. You'd think he'd realize he has a problem what with him working in the mental health/addictions field. He can go a day without drinking, I think. He's done it (to the best of my knowledge). So right now I think it's more of a psychological thing than a physical. But only being sober (and my definition of sober being no type of drug, alcohol or otherwise, being consumed) 4 or 5 days out of the month is a huge red flag to me. He is a good guy. Caring, loving and otherwise selfless. If someone that he cared about needed him he'd be there in a second. At first I just thought that we were hanging out at the bar for a place to hang out at. Instead of going back to my place or his place... you know what i mean? Then after it became an option to come over to my place or go to his place and just watch a movie or something there was always an excuse to go to the bar. So-and-so was going out or such-and-such was going on. Then there just wasn't excuses anymore. It was just going to stop in and grab a "few." Or he would make sure he had something to drink when we watched a movie or just stayed in, which was not and still is not the norm. So like I said he is an all around good guy else i wouldn't be so worried about this. At the risk of sounding like a ..... if he was a jerk and I found no redeeming qualities about him this wouldn't be an issue. Sure I'd bring the drinking to his attention but I'd be like "Peace out buddy boy! Wish you luck!" So yeah... I'm rambling now... To sum it up he is a good guy and I don't want to turn my back on him just because of this if he's willing to work on it. Especially since he knows about my problems/issues and has done his best with trying to be supportive and understanding. I've just been afraid I'm overreacting and making a mountain out of a molehill.