Dani, I would like to encourage you to keep going to therapy. You must really want to share what you have to say with another person if you keep going despite not talking. That is your way of telling yourself you need this. A T can be the perfect person to share with. I know it's hard to become comfortable enough to talk, but if not now, in therapy, then when? Quit therapy and then try again in another 10 years? The pain just stays inside when we don't let it out. In 10 years time, it will still be waiting for you.

Do you talk with your therapist about things that are not upsetting, such as everyday events? Or is it hard to talk about those things too? I am sorry to hear about your grandpa, BTW, and understand why it would be hard to talk about that. I think being able to cry in therapy about your grandpa shows you do trust your therapist a lot. I think there is a lot to be gained by crying in therapy even if we can't share words that go along with the sadness. It's also OK to not explain our tears to our therapist. Or do that another day. Sometimes I just say to my therapist when I'm crying or about to cry and am unable to discuss, "I feel sad." That's all I say. Somehow even being able to say those three words is helpful. I don't know why. It's like that's all the explanation for my tears that is needed. T never says, "why?" or hounds me to speak when I can't. He's just very accepting and lets me be sad.

It sounds like your T gave you a lot of space to be sad too. She may not have been sitting there waiting for you to say something at all. She may have just been sharing your silence and your sadness. I said to my T once, when I was having a hard time sharing something with him, and we had been silent together for a while, "I feel like you're waiting for me to say something." He said no, he wasn't, he was sitting there just "being" with me. All the pressure to say something to him was from me.

So I encourage you to talk with your therapist about your feelings about not being able to talk to her. And share that you wonder if there is a point in going to therapy anymore. You could also ask if she has any ideas on how you can begin talking.

It is not the client's responsibility to be better or worse than other clients. The therapist learns the most from you when you can just be yourself.