Hi Ithinkimpsycho, Well to be truthful, anyone's relationship with their God, whoever he or she is, is rocky some of the time because most of us are too distracted by the tv, the internet, social problems, money and how we look etc to have any relationship with "God anyway."

So to begin with, rather than seeing and feeling everything is going against you, and God has a vendetta personally against you, just start to talk inside yourself and within your heart (yes, you can get there!) as deep as you can, and there address God, and ask for some assistance to sort things out. Ask if God is really against you? I think the answer will be "no."

Instead of laying blame, ask for assistance. I did that years ago when really down. And at that lowest ebb I found strength and quiet. You don't need to go to church for that. However you will need to give some time for quiet reflection inside yourself and not be afraid to go within. That is the basis of the spiritual search in any case, for every one.