I know I had an episode when I was 12-13 years young. I don't remember it well but back then I thought bullies were trying to kill me and if I remember right burn my house while I was still in it. I also heard voices. I am just going based on my old medical records, I don't remember for sure. God my vocabulary is limited. Sadly as of now no one understands me for who I am. Not even my dad. How in the hell can sports be higher rated than his daughter? At least I have SOME friends, but very few. Luckily I have been talking to them more but phones are not a good thing for me. I blank out on phones and anyways they are bugged they track things. So does Google. Nothing is safe. Laughter comes my way. I darken most people's days. The docs say I am having an episode RIGHT NOW. I know I feel depressed, but certainly not psychotic. All people do is lie, cheat and steal. People can't drive right and humans have no brains in general. This is the reason why zombies can't exist, they feed on brains and they don't exist. My IQ is 82. This all makes me sad. I have been crying lately shockingly I hardly ever cry, just a stupid smile on my face. My favorite saying in the world is "its not real." This not only means to delusions but potential positives in life that will never be. Failure is real. Sad. I truly am scared for my life and the lives of millions of others at this point. Guns are constantly pointed at my head.