I can totally empathise
I was in a relationship with a guy for 2.5 years, and we lived together most of that time too - so it was serious. I've only ever been with guys.
Then he suddenly became very absorbed in work and was never there for me; not physically nor emotionally.
Suddenly I started falling for another woman at work. I'd never had feelings for another woman, but I was just hurting so much inside and wanted someone to love me, hold me...
We ended up having an affair, my bf found out, I left him for her and eventually was left with nothing.
This was when I hit such a bad depression I was hospitalised. A month later I tried to OD and landed back in hospital.
I was prepared to give up everything for her, and instead got nothing. Not to say to good times weren't great. I truely believe we loved each other. It was just too intense. She suffered from Bipolar and it turns out I do too, even though I have only recently been diagnosed, which is after we were together.
When our relationship ended I couldn't find a reason to exist. I did not believe I'd ever find that kind of bond again (And I might not). But I think I've managed to work through all of this. (Though at times I have to ask myself if I've just locked the feelings away, or if I've really addressed them)
I'm back with my boyfriend I initially left.
I do believe I may be bisexual. At the same time I've never been attracted to any other woman. Our relationship started as a friendship, and then we got closer. It did not start from a sexual attraction. Which is what makes my situation very hard for me to understand.
I'm here for you - you are welcome to PM me if you feel more comfortable. I don't have the answers, cos I don't know myself. But I have been through these feelings and questions