Lex,

Talk to us. This is a good place to work things out without the embarrassment of 3d.

Sometimes it is the actual proximity of a person which spooks us and then we come out with inappropriate remarks. I do it often, and people can be quite unforgiving.

I've noticed that regular people, what I might call 'urbane' people, have quite a limited range of polite and appropriate responses and they stick with them. It's like a list of suitable remarks for different social situations. Frankly, I find it very dull, but that's how things seem to work.

Being urbane is a highly effective way of being accepted in society. I've been looking at old reruns of Seinfeld, and the comedy comes out of the terrible messes that George and Elaine get themselves into through inappropriate remarks, and the paranoia they suffer as a consequence. They are bright people, maybe TOO bright.

Good thoughts, M