Typo, this is something that you can definitely work through. Your awareness and insight is very good, you have to know where you are at before you can move forward. Have you talked about this anger towards your abuser in therapy?

Yes, I have actually done a lot of work on my anger, I have a few anger issues, and I can have an explosive temper at times, but I"m learning how to constructivly work through it and how to better handle my anger, verusus the models I saw for it growing up (throwing things, screaming, punching objects) I"m less angry than I was then, but I do still have some, and I think I always will.

I don't believe that saying about girls who have been SA, not one bit! You fell into this before you were aware, but now you are aware and you are working to heal and have a better life and this is exactly what you will accomplish.

I hope so, sometimes I get scared and confused, I find it so very hard not to be pariond or catious of my partner, I have fleeting and constant fears of him abandoning me, just disapearing on me, I fall into this disillusion too that by discussing my relationship, it's going to "jinx" it and because I discuss my issues related to it it's going to fail or my fears are going to come true, (yes I have severe issues I know this )

I grew up in a rural northern Michigan area where many people had problems. I got beyond that and so will you if you are determined to.

It's very odd isn't it growing up in a rural area? I love my Southren hertiage don't get me wrong, I am proud of it for the most part, although I hate the sterotypes that fall with it and misconception people will have of me at times, and the conflicting messages one grows up with and certain mindsets that get ingrained into you from a young age. It's so easy to get trapped in a rural area, to get sucked into it.

Some things that I did to move forward was to figure out where I was on an issue, figure out what was normal, and worked towards solving the problem for myself.

I like that , and I try very hard to do that, however sometimes I find myself trying to figure out what "normal" is...