I have recently been diagnosed with ocd. I first statred to experience severe symptoms about 8 years ago. I understand how tormenting the thoughts are. The suffering sometimes becomes unbearable. The only word I could use to describe these last 8 years is 'torture.' I am so glad that there are people who undestand how i feel. Some people just think that I can get over it or snap out of it but i can't. I suppose that I might be able to encourage you by helping you to remember that you have beaten this ocd once before, so you can beat it again.