Okay, it's been a few weeks since I've seen T because of various reasons. And now I am considering a long break because I hate the way I've been feeling these last few weeks. Disappointed because I haven't been able to talk to him. And sad because HE is the one I want to call when something is wrong. I hate that I "need" him. And I don't want to need him. I don't want to hear him in my head. For some reason all of a sudden it bothers me that this is a one-sided relationship. (no, I'm not thinking of him in anyway other than a friend. Which I know, he's not my 'friend'. He's my therapist. THAT is the problem) It depresses me that I have no body else to lean on when I'm hurting. And even more so when I think about how the only person I have to talk to is my T. And he's paid to pretend that he gives a crap.

Why is this happening?? Where did all this come from? What do I do?