In my therapy session last night my T asked if I know where my 2 abusers are or if I ever tried to locate them. I hadn't. I thought what I don't know won't hurt me.
But, I got to thinking about it. And, the kind of work I do provides me with the tools needed to find about anyone.
So, this morning I did a search.
One is dead. Died in 1997...3 years after attacking me.

The other. My abuser from childhood lives in KY. He was convicted of Sexual abuse in the First Degree in NJ in 1992. I have only told 2 people IRL the extent of what has happened to me. So, his conviction tells me he hurt another child. He also was convicted of endangering a child's welfare.
I am not sure what to make out of knowing this now.
I guess one being dead helps relieve some pressures that HE can never come hurt me again.
But, one is still alive. Still possiblly hurting other kids after all these years of me carrying with me the shame and guilt and fear and pain and anger I have had.
He is located literally about 45 minutes from where I went to college. Kind of freaky if you ask me.
Do I hunt him down and confront him?
Do I think ...well he did get convicted once so maybe that is good enough?
Do I just let it go and hope that one day all the flashbacks and the pain and anger will just go away naturally?
Any suggestions, help, thoughts....would be appreciated!!