(((((Zooropa))))),

Reading your last post, I can completely understand the how's & why's that went into this situation. What a rough situation you have been in all your life. It is understandable the care you are taking in handling this. Given your situation, I think you have handled this very wisely & we can't always jump into immediate action but need to put the pieces together to have a solid picture before jumping to any conslusions expecially when we have had a situation like you did that they were already looking at your mental situation.

I know I had SU attempts in my past. When I confronted the home care person about abusing my mother (which she stole her identity, wrote checks, called the police to have them accuse me of abusing my mother, then she OD'ed my mother).......when I filed the report with APS & had the social worker file a report in the hospital about my Mother, I was threatened to back off or my past would come back to haunt me.......so I very much understand your concern to handle the situation carefully.

I hope you are able to push on some of the questionable issues & see if there can be some controls put on the actions of your husband. It's difficult seeing so many red flags that you know need to be resolved in your mind. This may be a good time to have a general conversation with your daughter about SA even if the situation was a school accident so that he understands your concern & she can be made aware of what SA is about (in general, not in a father accusing way). That way if something does happen to her & she knows you are there for her if anything happens to her anywhere in that way, she will be more likely to open up to you about it, knowing you are there for her if anything should happen. That could give you a little bit more comfortable feeling knowing that she wouldn't cover it up if something should ever happen to her at any time, anywhere. This could be a good chance to grow closer to her given the situation of not being able to have your children.

It's so hard to make sure that children are aware of SA & knowing that it isn't right without alarming them or letting it sound accusing, but I am sure there is a way to make it happen. It's better that children aren't naive about things like that. We found out about it at a young age when my neighbor had a male family friend from church who was attempting to abuse the girls in the family. Maybe with the help of your T, you can find a good way to approach your daughter about the subject in a way that you will feel better about her being knowledgeable about it & know that she can alway come to you if anything should even be attempted let alone happen to give you a little bit safer feeling for her.

A very difficult situation for you I can completely understand your frustration in wanting to have your daughter safe yet feeling in a difficult position to make sure of that.

My prayers that the right handling of this will come to you & all will work out well for your daughters safety in a meaningful but not fearful way for her.