SJ,

I think these are questions best posed to your heart and your T.

You are just beginning this journey. The road is a long and bumpy one.

There will be times you'll want to confront him, deny it even happened, and times you'll want to run.

Have you read any of the Courage to Heal books by Laura Davis and Ellen Bass? Sometimes manning yourself with knowledge can be empowering.

Beginning to Heal might be helpful to you. Again, though. You should discuss it with T.

Beginning to Heal (Revised Edition) : A First Book for Men and Women Who Were Sexually Abused As Children
by Ellen Bass, Laura Davis (Info from Amazon)

Beginning to Heal offers hope and guidance for all survivors starting the healing journey. No matter how great your pain today, you can not only heal but thrive. Based on the authors' bestseller The Courage to Heal, this Revised Edition of Beginning to Heal takes you through the key stages of the healing process, from crisis times to breaking the silence, grief, and anger, to resolution and moving on. It includes inspirational highlights, clear explanations, practical suggestions, and compelling accounts of survivors' pain, their strength, and their triumphs.

Hang in,

Petunia