See, the place I want to really get to in my heart is a noble, and perhaps out of my reach - I don't know.

If an offender is in treatment, then perhaps he really does want to get better. Maybe he is trying really hard to stop. Maybe my T can really really help him to end the cycle and his heartbreak too. Maybe my T has gained a unique perspective that he uses to help me. Maybe he can give the offender a unique perspective in relation to the victims.

My T did say that he had never treated anyone who was actively offending, but then added that it never really came up.

A woman that I really admire counsels battered women. But you know what? She also counsels the men who hit them. Her contention is that if you really want to stop this, you go to the source and not the symptom. I know she is right, and have actively defended her stance.

Now here I am working as hard as I can to incorporate this very same aspect in my therapist.

In my last session I made a huge demonstration to my T about how I wasn't a victim. I described, in detail, about all the precautions and procedures I have in place to protect myself. I know it was in response to the upset in my feeling of safety in the office.

I feel eminently safe in his presence, but the office has changed - the environment is tainted somehow.