yes, definitely! sometimes i feel like it's 1 step forward and like 17 steps backwards! i like how you put it, it's like a cycle or a circle. i guess a lot of things are that way, it's what keeps the world in balance perhaps.

i've believe if there's an "up" then inevitibly there will be a "down." that's the way the world work i think. i told that to a friend of mine having an "up" phase (everything in her life was going so well at the time) and she was so offended and thought that i was trying to say that eventually things would come crashing down for her. that wasn't what i was saying at all - i was trying to communicate that she had already "paid her dues" with enough down times in her life, and now she was getting to experience the up. that's what i believe for a lot of us on PC that are suffering from depression.. it's like we've had enough of the down phase, and the up should be right around the corner!

anwyay, i suppose i'm off on a tangent, and not really answering your question. i think your body/mind can only handle so much, and let's you experience and work through the trauma as gently as possible. it's like a self-protecting mechanism. so maybe you can think of it as a good thing.. like the slower the better when it comes to that stuff.

also, and i'm not sure if this is true for you at all, but sometimes i wonder (at least as for as myself is concerned) if i really want to heal. it's hard to think of life with out therapy or my therapist, and sometimes i wonder if i sabotage myself in order to keep the work going. i'm not saying that's what's happening for you (and please don't be offended by this), but i just thought i'd mention it. maybe you're where you're at because that's where you need or want to be?