Thanks for your answers.

We don't know what the original trauma was!!!

I wrote her story down for the psychiatrist, but it's not written in English, I'm afraid. I would have to translate this. I will try.

Extremely short version:

I got to know her father when I was 20. We took a flat together when I was 22. I got married to him fours years later. Early 1993 I got pregnant for the first time. I lost this baby very early. She was born in 1994. During the whole pregnancy I was afraid to loose the baby because of the first pregnancy. My husband thought it was my fault that I lost the first baby, that isnt't so. Furthermore I knew I couldn't have an disabled child as my husband had told me, we would have to give it free for adoption.

I didn't have problems during the pregnancy. She was born on a natural way. She is not ill at all, she was a healthy young baby, child and will be soon woman. About 16 months later I gave birth to her brother. When she was 3 1/2 I got separated from her father. I wanted the divorce. It was an awful time, because he didn't want to divorce.

We had to divorce as he hurt me very much with his sayings, his lies and the perpetual contact to his parents. He had to prove to his parents, especially to his father, that he was a good boy. It was for all three of us a very hard time. He said a lot of bad things to us, especially to me. He told me then he would take me the children away.

I spent two years alone and then I met my second husband. He has three girls who all live with us. We live together for 10 years now and we got married in 2001. We don't have more children together. His Kids were then 11, 9 and 6. My children were 6 and 4.

The trauma is coming from the behaviour of my daughter's father. This is the opinion of one psychologist. Her father thinks no good of her, because she should have been a boy as firstborn child!

Well, I write more but today I'm very tired. Sorry! It is difficult for me to translate...

Thanks anyway