You would possibly benefit from therapy, and it can't hurt to try, right? Also there might be some meds to calm down these feelings, it's up to you whether you feel ok about taking meds, they're not for everyone but with me for example they have helped me a lot with my depression. My doc says they're usually prescribed for 9 months, I've take them at other times but never seen it through.

It sounds like your boyfriend is supportive, is that right? He's suggested you get some help, so he must care and worry that you're not well. You should probably listen to him. Feeling like this is dreadful, and you really don't deserve to struggle with all of this... getting some help would at least lift some of the pressure off you, I think.

Try going to the doctor and just seeing what can be done, what help you can be offered. Like I said, you needn't struggle through this alone, there is help out there and you do deserve it! x