I'm very sorry for your loss, blanche. It doesn't sound abnormal to me, not to react to a box of ashes; I don't think I would either.

There are laws about scattering human remains but my father-in-law wanted his spread over a certain body of water where he had spread his wife's so my husband and his three brothers got taken out on a neighbor's boat and did that.

There's a slightly interesting book, Annie Freeman's Fabulous Traveling Funeral where a group of good friends get together and go to all the places "Annie" planned for them (she plotted who would go and how/where and paid for everything before she died) and they scattered a bit of her ashes each place:

http://www.amazon.com/Annie-Freemans.../dp/0553382640

If you fiance didn't have any particular wishes for his remains, I would think about what would help you the most with your grieving?