I dont have that much strength. Its really hard not having a social life at all and being around a family that doesnt support you in anything, and you pretty much cant stand being around them....sometimes i feel like a bad person, but i know that familys are supposed to be there for you and all of that good s*%t but i dont have the luxury of being able to tell my family whats on my mind for 1. They dont understand(which im not mad at, i can barely understand my own depression) 2.they dont give a s%$t what i feel 3. They dont listen very well. I cant help but feel like an asshole when i say things like that. but i also feel really neglected. I remember times in my life where i didnt know wtf to do and i had no one to go to an that just makes me f*&%in mad all over again. I have to live a life of unnatural isolation and i understand that is what it is. I want to go out but i dont really feel comfortable. I look like hell and i have no friends......i have a million dreams but dont know where to start. This pain is unbearable and i just have to take it..... Happiness is so hard to optain for me but misery is always there and thriving.............i just dont know what to do.