((((wepow)))))

You have been working so hard, sweetie. Your T has been amazingly helpful and supportive to you, but YOU have been doing the work. One day or night of falling back on old coping skills isn't going to change that or take away all the work you have done.

I know it is so hard when T isn't there when we need them to be. You know I have been through that w/my own T, and it is so painful and lonely and scary. I would just encourage you to look back at some of your old posts where things were going well between you two, and remind yourself of how much he really does care about you. Because, yes, he is getting paid to be your T, but no amount of money can make someone care. I believe your T truly does care about you, and I hope you know that deep down, too.

Mostly I just wish I could somehow make this better for you, easier for you. I am so sorry you are going through this, and so glad you are posting here. You are not alone, and you are not irreparably broken.