I'm sorry you're terminating, but it seems like the right decision for you. T sounds like a typical Freudian psychoanalyst, the kinds that never tell you anything directly--the blank slate kind of T. I know that you can find a T who is a much better fit for you.

Every T is different, so yes, we are doing therapy with a person, not a stereotype of a "T". But it depends on the T's orientation as to how much the T will engage with us. If it is a "blank slate" kind of T, and I honestly didn't think those kind existed anymore, then the T will give non-commital answers and revert everything back to you, like your T is doing. But most Ts want to be more "real" to their clients. If there is a misunderstanding, they will admit their mistakes, and have a dialogue with you. They would see the "where do I sit" situation as worthy of a dialogue. But as I'm writing this, I am picturing my former T. She would be irritated with me, and not think it worth discussing. But my current T would.

But as to whether to terminate therapy or not, I agree with your T that it has to be YOUR decision, not his. But he should give you his feedback if you want it. From what you posted in this thread, he seems to want to be a total "blank slate" kind of T. He reminds me of the T computer program they used to have, where whatever you said, the T gave canned responses like "Tell me more" or "I can see you are upset" or "How do you feel about that?" without ever getting to know the client. It sounds like that's the way your T chooses to do therapy, and other clients may like that approach, but it doesn't work for you.