((A Long Ways)) - I'm sorry you're feeling hopeless. I remember some excellent advice you wrote on another thread - I was very impressed by your insight. Are you in school - what are you studying because I bet you would make a great therapist.

I know before you were procrastinating about trying meds again. Are you on medication at the moment? If not please speak with your doctor abut this.

For now I want you to forget about your past and how you feel like a failure -lets concentrate on the present - day by day, moment by moment. Can you think of something you're passionate about and volunteer for some organizatiion? This will get you out in a social gathering and force you to think outside yourself.

Have I ever given you the Metanoia website - if you would like it, PM me and I'll send it to you. The past is gone so no amount of dwelling will change it, so what can you do today? Eat a good meal and go out for a brisk walk. You know how to inspire others, I've read your posts - you can internalized this and talk to yourself. You're a good person and you just need to focus and boost yourself into action.