Okay, yes I'm on meds... for depression I'm on seroquel, and they added welbutrin a little while back.
I'm so tired of meds, tired of being like "Oh, that's what's wrong. The meds are the problem" when I was okay a few weeks ago.

I'm not seriously thinking about suicide, I can't even think of how. I don't want do that to everyone who's worked so hard to help me. I'm just to the point where I have no idea how to get better. idk, I can't keep my thoughts straight enough to know whether or not I'm really in danger of doing something stupid...

And I know how important it is to graduate, but I just can't get out of this hole i'm in. I'm trying, but that's adding to the depression and the feeling of failure. I doubt I'm going to be able to graduate if I go into the hospital, but I'm not so sure I will anyways. I'm supposed to be at school right now, but I was balling my eyes out earlier and couldn't muster the energy to get out of bed... I also didn't feel safe driving, because I get random urges to say "**** this", slam on the gas and let go of the wheel..

Yesterday when I just drove I was at times doing about 80 down old highways and dirt roads..... but, I did forget my meds yesterday... idk, still don't feel safe driving....