he is not a foster child, I am sorry for the miss-communication. He is my husbands son but he was taken by cps when his "mother" had custody of him. Because of the situation we had to jump through hoops to get custody of him and during that time he went to foster homes and was bounced around. It only took us a couple of months to gain custody of him because I had two children that we were already taking care of and CPS couldn't say we couldn't give him a good home. But during the time he was with his mother and then being taken away and in foster homes was rough for him. But his tantrums are not typical at all. And yes he does affect the other two boys behavior. They have to fight for attention. Most of my home time is spent looking after the 3 y/o instead of spending time with the 11 y/o and 1 y/o. And I feel guilty even writing this because I know he needs the extra attention but its draining. Plus then I feel anxious about neglecting the other two. And all I want is to not have to constantly discipline the 3 y/o so that maybe one day he will me. I know I need a t so bad right now but I honestly dont have the time to see one. After hearing your responses, though, I am going to try to get him back into play therapy. I just want my middle child to be happy and not grow up thinking he can control everything and everyone. bolah. thanks for listening to my long winded post. I really am looking into getting a t. just gotta work out the details with my hubby and my work schedule etc.