I hear you're really trying here Kadesgirl and I wonder if your BF/husband(?) is doing his share in disciplining the 3 yr old. You both need to be on the same page and you're right - he shouldn't get treats unless he's good. When your partners around and the 3 yr old has a tantrum - what does your partner do? It all can't be on you and you mentioned he doesn't bite or split at your husband. I understand he's hard to handle being 50lbs - is he the right weight for his age?