If it were me, I'd go to see him again to learn more. Maybe I wouldn't view it as a continuation of therapy with him (if only to protect myself), but as an opportunity to understand what happened with our relationship. Perhaps that might help you with your next T or in other relationships in your life. Although this isn't your responsibility, perhaps it would help him understand better what happened and help him with future clients.

To me it doesn't follow that wanting to discuss the seating arrangement would lead to a suggestion that you take a break. Did you feel like he didn't like you questioning his authority to control the seating and therefore he wants to get rid of you? Seems like an extreme reaction.

He asked if his credibility with you was gone, and you said yes?

I am interested that what you shared was provoking. Was it something you said to provoke him personally? Or would it be provoking to anyone or any therapist (e.g. "I hate all men" or "Therapists are stupid")? I don't like his non-committal "I can see that." That would be highly triggering for me, as I have had several key male figures in my life who would not take responsibility for their actions. I think if a therapist has a role in something that happens in therapy, they should own up to it, especially if the client asks. Maybe I'm overinterpreting what your T said, but to me it sounds like he was sidestepping his own role in your interactions. There have been a few times that my T had some countertransference going on, and he immediately told me and said he was struggling with it, so I would know that his responses might be colored with his own "stuff." I remember one time I said to him that he had seemed "appalled" when I told him a certain thing, and he thought a moment, and said, "I was appalled." That sticks in my mind as very important--an admission that he felt and expressed something that was noticed by me. It helped me trust him. If he had said, "I can see that," this would have not increased trust or made me feel that I had imagined his reaction. That response would have been detrimental to our relationship, and that sounds like may be what is happening with your T. I agree with you that he needs to seek supervision if this is what is going on.

Have you discussed his pattern of pulling back from you? I think it's a huge thing he needs to work on, if that is what's happening. The relationship sounds very complicated and troubling, BlackCanary. I hope you can find out the answers to your questions.

I think the therapist has MORE responsibility for the relationship than the client. Many clients don't know how to have healthy relationships (exhibit A = moi). With such relationship-challenged people, the therapist needs to model how to have the relationship, or give overt observations. My ability to have a relationship has increased hugely since starting therapy. If the therapist sits there passively and doesn't model how to interact and have a relationship, how will the client learn? In school, the therapist is supposed to learn all about how to create and maintain a therapeutic relationship. They have way more training than your average client. So yes, the therapist needs to bring more.

I do believe that you are correct that you are the one who gets to decide to discontinue. And the T is not supposed to talk you out of it, I do believe. Most of the initial consent forms say something to the effect that "the client is free to discontinue treatment at any time." However, in terms of maintenance, the therapist has a big role.

Good luck, BlackCanary. I am sorry for what has happened. I hope you can learn more from your T, but only if that is what you want.