Me too on the being cheated on part...I thought I had a wonderful marriage and that my husband loved and adored me as I thought I loved and adored him. I did love the person I thought he was, but I found out my entire marriage was a sham and he had been cheating on me during most of the marriage..with multiple partners.

It almost destroyed me. I still can't sleep, can't eat....one good thing is I lost 88 pounds on the divorce diet! I look good, he looks awful and he's been perfectly awful all during the discovery, the reconciliation atempts and a collaborative divorce we were in for seven months.

He would not collaborate and withheld records, broke restraining orders and agreements we made. Just yesterday I withdrew from that process and today I hired a new attorney and will pursue court action.

His actions shook me to my very core and I will never again have another relationship because if I didn't know him after being married to him for 17 years (and I knew him from work for 15 years before I married him) then I can never really ever know anyone.

My faith is gone in so many ways and I have lost my self-trust, my home, my security, my future and so many things. I don't think I can ever get over this. I have been seeing a counselor for a year. She diagnosed me with adjustment disorder.........I'll say. I'm trying to adjust to so many things and it really doesn't seem worth it as I don't have any hope of ever really being able to trust anyone even again.

The thing that bothers me the most is that I he pretended that we had a wonderful marriage. (and I guess for him, it was..I adored him and trusted him 100%, so he was free to do whatever he wanted) He should never have married me or if he wanted to be with other women, then he should have told me and I would have divorced him then. He had agreed to be monogamous before we married. I am shattered. My self-worth was somehow tied into my marriage and I feel so terribly unhappy, but I could not stay there.

MA