I don't want to get in a fight about it, especially on a thread someone else started, but I can't let it ride completely. I must state that I refuse to feel any "after all your mother has done for you, you should be grateful" guilt. Please don't try to tell me my mother was some kind of saint for helping me out. I was on SSI at the time and was paying rent to my mother, so it's not like I was creating any big hardship. She may have given me food and shelter, but she also pretty much held me prisoner and verbally abused me. Thank God she can't legally hit me anymore, or she might have done that too. I didn't move out so much as escape.

My mother would like nothing more than to have all four of her children still living with her, under her roof, under her control. She welcomes us in so that she CAN still play the mother role and be telling us what to do. Not out of the goodness of her heart, but for the power trip. It's not just me saying this. She has the general reputation.

As it so happens, my own daughter (age 24, and pregnant with her second child) is going to move back in with me starting tomorrow, until she can find suitable housing for herself and her children. Sure we have household rules that would apply to any guest, but danged if I'm going to even come close to treating her the way I was treated by my mother. As long as she doesn't disturb me, I don't care what time she goes to bed, gets up, etc. And she can sure come and go as she pleases.

I think "guest" is the key word here. When you're over age, you're a guest in the home. Yes, you respect the space. But you shouldn't have to revert to being a child again.

And I still say, not letting me go to church was over the line.